This is a funny photo. You know when you have an idea, a vision, and you can see in your minds eye exactly how you’d like it to work?
This was one of them. Only it didn’t turn out how I imagined, and boy is that a personal challenge.
I had it all planned in my head, it was going to be rockin’. The proofs came back and there I was faced with my own inner demons talking self doubt in my head.
See this image, I love the pose and the strength of it. I felt it was a fun way to display my 2019 achievements with 4 titles and a couple of shiny tiaras. Only my body doesn’t look how I currently feel like it should look, and certainly not how I want it to look. I have far too much comfort food to blame for that.
I discussed this photo with both my WonderHubby and the amazing photographer Cam. We all agreed that another photo and pose was more flattering for my body, didn’t show off the rolls as much. But for me it didn’t have e strength and power I wanted to invoke.
A lot of the time I don’t feel strong or powerful, rather succumbing to imposter syndrome and self doubt. But this was how I wanted to present all of this wrapped up with a tiara on top.
So I told all of that insecurity “Stuff It” and asked for this photo anyway (thought I did request some of the shadow to be lightened so the way my body rolls doesn’t feel so visually ‘heavy’ and Cam did a fabulous job to even out the tones to make it a more smooth lighting all over).
So here I am, fat rolls and all, reminding myself and everyone around me to #lovetheskinyourein and accept yourself, allowing yourself to recognise your worth and your achievements no matter how big or small. In 2019 I was awarded four titles and three tiaras. The Golden Stripper and 1st Runner Up Golden Hustler at GLCC – Golden Legend Champion Challenge in Florida USA under the mentorship of the amazing burlesque legend, Mama Beaver herself, Judith Stein. I also placed 1st Runner Up and was titled Miss Deeds at the AAPC Burlesque Beauty competition.
So here’s to celebrating #HoldUpYourTiaras
Yes I’m going to work to lose the extra kilos I’ve put on over the festive season and the bushfire season (the smoke has made it almost impossible for me to keep active for months 😢) but the goal is to fit my costumes better not to punish myself. I’m never going to be conventional fashion skinny, so I’m just going to work towards “svelte”, because it’s a delightful word and I believe it has more room for interpretation.